A turkey is pardoned, 

though he committed no crime

The sigh of relief when the credits roll

and we can rest assured that no animals

were harmed in the making of this movie

Plants feel pain,
as we all know
I won’t trim my hedges,
I cry when I mow

Fishing is only

peaceful if you aren’t the one

swallowing the hook

Rows of bodies,

chopped or ground,

endlessly piled

and conveniently priced

for your selection

Hypocrisy

is saying you care about them

while simultaneously

paying for their death

Which ones do you cage

and make jump through fiery hoops?

Which ones do you cram inside

tiny metal coops?

A spectacle of joy

for the girls and the boys

Flinging chickens

at the County Fair

With happy castration,

how we frolic away

while elastic bands squeeze our nuts

waiting for eventual decay

It takes nerve to call

us overpopulated

when you have billions

Be polite, they tell us,

don’t shout with the truth 

as we steal the future

breath by breath from the youth

“But bacon!” was the mic drop

The end of having to feel,

the instant end to imagining

the suffering in a meal

Everyone always uses “rabbit food” when comparing

a vegan diet to that of another animal,

as if that were the only herbivore known to man

You don’t have to join any group, sign up for any newsletter, or even socialize with vegans. We’re just asking that you choose some rice and beans and cashews and clementines and save some animals, and maybe still save the planet too. 

Not “human trapping, killing, and widespread trading of the marmot’s fur infected thousands.” Nope. Just like “humans were minding our own damn business and the evil fucking marmots infected us.”

His supposed sanctuary was already filled with the bodies of his bovine brethren,

dismantled and displayed in coolers kept frozen to impede their decay

They aren’t all stomped to oblivion,

sometimes they are humanely beaten,

I’d retort, easing my conscious

No, no, sweetie, don’t you cry

That little piggie wanted to die     

Listening to you justify killing an animal
because the vegan version costs fifty cents more

Dogs are delicious, don’t judge what I eat!

They’re loaded with protein from their cute heads to their feet