Catering Table Not Included

The sigh of relief

when the credits roll

and we can rest assured

that no animals were harmed

in the making of this movie

Somehow I get the feeling

the American Humane Association

overlooked the catering table

Don’t worry,

I would hate for you

to have to navigate

through internal moral conflict,

and I certainly

don’t want to listen

to your twisted justifications

So I took the liberty

of editing the certification

for future usage

You can now say,

without a Niagara Falls

of hypocrisy,

“No animal

we care about

was harmed

in the making

of this movie

We ate the rest”

Written January 13, 2019